Super-duper!

Just watched X-men this weekend and I’m reminded of the age-old question: if you could have any superpower, which one would you want?

Now, to answer this requires a couple ground rules. First of all you need to eliminate something all encompassing like super-telekinesis, meaning the ability to do anything you can think of, – similar to Phoenix’s powers, or Green Lantern’s, or granting wishes like a genie. Second, it has to be A power, not a set of them like Superman’s powers – either you get flight, or x-ray vision, or strength, or heat vision, etc. However you do get any necessary accompanying abilities, like if you can breathe underwater then you can also withstand deep pressures; if you get super speed than your body and vision can handle the velocities – otherwise the power is a waste.

Ok, so what are some of the classic superpowers? I’ll list 10, and you can all rank them from best to worst.

1. Flying. This, of course, is probably the first thing that comes to mind. Superman can do it as well as many others, and those that can’t try desperately to make of for it in some way with airplanes, jet-packs, jumping, or fancy tricks. Basically it’s just a mode of transportation, yet it’s so much more than that! Its freedom! It’s the ability to literally lift yourself above all else! Who wouldn’t want to be able to just lift off the ground go wherever you wish at an amazing speed; to be able to drop in and out places at will; to have a place you can go to that no one else can touch you! Let’s also just say that flying covers all forms of self levitation, but also that your speed is limited to about mach 3 – no spinning the Earth around backwards.

2. Super-speed. And by that I mean running or moving on the ground. Made famous by the Flash, we’ve seen this in a lot of forms, including super-agility. Most recently Neo illustrated how speed over time, rather than over distance, can be useful in dodging bullets and basically reacting faster than the other guys. This includes all that. Again, it’s a mode of transportation with serious additional benefits, but maybe not the elegance of flight!

3. Invisibility. This one is just sneaky. Sure we can go with the whole ‘it’s nice to be able to slip away and not be bothered’, but really this is about spying, sneaking up on people, and generally being where you are not supposed to be. While there are all sorts of complications about what happens to your clothes, and what if you eat something, and even a question of weather or not you could see if light passes through your eyes, let’s keep it simple – you turn invisible and no one can see you! Pretty cool.

4. Mind–reading/Telepathy. Wouldn’t we all like to know what the person across from us is thinking? Well here you go. Read their mind and know their thoughts. Does that girl like you? What does your boss want to hear? What do your friends really think of you? Which one is the killer? All good questions, but are you prepared to really know the answer? Be careful with this one – sometimes you can know too much! So let’s say that yes you can turn it on and off. Additionally, you can send message to communicate to someone’s mind who you specifically target.

5. Telekinesis. Literally this means ‘distance-moving’, moving things with your mind. Feel free to use this for everything from writing notes without touching the pen, to hurling cars out of your way to get through traffic. Well have to impose some limits like you cant lift anything bigger than a semi, and just for fun, you can’t move yourself – so no getting around the fact you can’t fly! In fact you can’t move sentient beings, sorry. So no throwing people, but you can throw things at people, so you still gotta admit that this has some usefulness. Stop bullets, open doors, hurl objects, construct barriers, etc. get creative!

6. Super-strength. I tend to think this is pretty boring, but it has to be on the list. Not only is it a classic super-power, but I mean just think of the sports dollars you could rake in! Forget steroids, they can test all they want and they won’t find anything cause it’s a superpower! Ok, really I think this is pretty limited on face so let’s also say that strength makes you nearly invincible to physical damage. That’s right, scrape proof, bruise proof, bullet proof – mind you, you can still drown, get poisoned, have a heart attack, and so on, but you’ve got nothing to fear from Mike Tyson!

7. Elemental control. This is the first of a couple of powers that actually represent a few different possibilities. See, we’ve got a ton of supermen and women who have some various form of control over fire, ice, water, wind, lightning, metals, just about everything except dirt – as far as I know. Let’s call all of those ‘elements’ (earth, wind, fire, water) and say that control over one is pretty similar to control over another. You only get one element, mind you, so take your pick, but your powers are basically limited to making that one element do ‘stuff.’ Personally I think Magneto’s control over metal is pretty handy in this day and age, but some of you might like to control the weather, while others may feel that controlling fire is mankind’s ultimate achievement! Once again, I’m not gonna let you wear steel-toed boots and fly yourself around or wrap yourself in flame for the same reason (flying is it’s own power), but if you want to skate over the ice like Mr. Freeze, be my guest.

8. Transformations. This is another one that’s really many-in-one as I see it. The ability to transform oneself has take three main forms: shape shifting ala Iman (STVI:TUC) or Mystique; Scaling ala Atom or Apache Chief; plasticity ala Plastic Man, Elastigirl and Reed Richards. Shape Shifting allows you to change your identity, which has many obvious uses, most of them devious – like invisibility. You’re not gonna save a lot of people by changing your looks. Scaling I always found interesting especially when you look at some of the creative stuff Atom could do. But I have to thing that plasticity has some of the greatest potential of any super power! Who needs speed when you can take tremendously long steps? You can reach anything, bounce bullets off…stretch into just about any shape. This has got to be a top contender!

9. Regeneration. This does not come with the claws even though that would put it at the top of just about everyone’s list. No, but you do get to heal from just about any wound and you can even re-grow limbs. At some point it has to end so let’s say critical damage to 70% of your core or decapitation will end you, as will old age, drowning, etc.. But until then, you are nearly invincible! So go ahead and take the risks – try street luge, go hunting with the vice-president, play lawn darts…enjoy!

10. Teleportation. I’m here, but I wish I were there…poof, here I am! That’s basically it. The ultimate in transportation. Instantaneous relocation. Its only really fun if you can take someone with you, so yes to that. But since it must be limited somehow, lets go with the classic ‘you must be able to see or envision the location to which you want to go’ or you risk reconstruction inside something. For most of us that’s a reasonable limitation, for you explorers…you’ll have to find another way there, at least for the first time!

Others that didn’t make the cut: X-ray vision, threat-sense (like Spidey), missiles (throwing stuff or shooting arrows), underwater breathing, wall-walking (again like Spidey, or Toad), and all those powers that seemed to specific. If one of these, or something completely missing, strikes you’re fancy then go ahead and add it to your list.